Don't Die Of Shock...

No, you are not dreaming - LOL! Yes, I know it has been OVER A YEAR since I blogged - how terrible is that?!? I've been meaning to, I really have, but I just never have anything interesting enough to write about so it gets pushed to the side - LOL! That and I'm always too busy... but today I'm not! It's my Birthday, and I have the day off - yay! No designing, no accounts, no work, but where am I?? On the computer. It's a disease I swear - LOL! My Mum has taken Josh for the day & night so I can go and get my haircut, and then Marty's taking me out to dinner, so all in all it should be a great day! :D (I do feel a bit lost without him here, but I should make hay while the sun shines).

So, wow... a whole year to catch up on! I honestly don't know if I can remember everything! I'll try and wrap it up in a nutshell (although judging by my previous posts, that is an impossible task - LOL)

Josh is obviously much more massive than the last time you saw him... He's now 16 months old can you believe? Time just flies when you're having fun... He's such a big boy and all grown up, running around, breaking things, throwing missiles at me, but totally adorable. I think he's the main reason I don't have a lot of time to do anything anymore - it seems the older he gets, the harder it is to keep him entertained, so I spend most of my days playing with him and only working during the day if I have to... Here are some pics, you'll see how much he's changed over the last year!

Secondly, around the time I stopped posting, I signed on as a designer for My Mind's Eye... I now have a number of traditional paper lines with them, and that's been keeping me super busy as well! Some of them you'd recognise from my digital kits, and a couple of them are new as well.

I've been so overwhelmed by how lucky I've been this year with my work, and it's taken me in directions I never thought possible! I am looking forward to taking a break for the rest of the year though, as it's been such a crazy time around here!

And, I think that's all I have time for! I just looked at the time, and I need to get my butt into gear if I'm going to make this hairdresser's appointment! I will try and update more regularly, I promise... I might even try and think of some more stuff and update today... I'm in one of those moods lately where I want to tick things off my list, and I'm sure if I don't, I'll be frustrated - LOL! Although it's not like i have much exciting stuff going on, but I will if and when anything blog-worthy happens...

Hope you all have a merry Christmas, and a safe and Happy New Year! Thank you for all your support over the last year - it truly means the world to me!

Okay...

... I'm about to flood you with so many photos - sorry!! I've had a bit of a lightbulb moment and worked out that I can change the ISO speed on my DSLR (duh!), AND the light meter! So, I've worked out how to take a half decent photo - LOL! Well, they're not the best in the world, but I was getting so frustrated because I'm still used to my film SLR, and I couldn't work out why sometimes the DSLR would take awesome photos, and others were complete crap... yup, it helps to read the instruction booklet sometimes - LOL!!

So, I had a little photo shoot with Joshy this morning, and OMG isn't he just the sweetest little thing?? He's just started to push himself up while he's having tummy time - so cute! Oh man, my heart just about breaks every time I look at him... love him soooooooo much!!

And, check it out... his very first pair of Vans thanks to his Aunty Kell & Uncle Clayt! Look at the soles on them... priceless! I love baby shoes.. I think it's cos they're completely useless, but that just makes them even cuter :D

Well, that's pretty much it on the personal front :) Yeah, I know I'm boring... I need to get some sort of life happening so I have more to talk about than my baby - LOL!! Ah well...

Can you believe it's almost Christmas?? It's so crazy how fast time is flying this year! I seem to have gone from pregnant to being a mum to a newborn, to a mum to a 3.5 month old all in the space of about 1 minute! I can't wait for Christmas this year - I know Josh won't know any different, but it'll be our first Chrissy as a proper family... And Marty will be home for TWO WHOLE WEEKS!! YAY!!! ADULT CONVERSATION - WOOHOO!! Can you tell I'm excited? Plus, I just love that feeling that seems to be in the air at Christmas time... and the fact that it's my birthday the week before, not that that's too exciting anymore - LOL!!

In other exciting Zoe-Land news (not - LOL), I've finally bought my own domain, and plan to open my own little shoppe early in the New Year... I already have my own site, but at the time I got the domain name, I had planned to sell paper scrap products as well as my own digi stuff... but that all went out the window. Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking, but I hate the name of the site, so I'm starting fresh - yay!

And, I don't know how or when it happened, but I seem to have become a bit of an absentee in the community... and it makes me feel really bad. I don't know, it's kinda like when you haven't spoken to a friend in a long time, and the longer you leave it, the harder it gets to pick up the phone... Does that make sense? So, I just have to get more involved... and scrap! That's something I haven't done enough of either...

Okay, onto the business side of things :) Lauren Grier and I did a cute little 2Scoops for this weekend... Pretty much all of the Sweet Shoppe girls teamed up to do a whole lot of awesome collab kits, and they're just rockin'! Here's ours, it's bright and summery and so not wintery, but oh well... If it makes any difference, it's coming into summer over here in the land of Oz!

And, my latest love in designing seems to be glitter for some reason... I think I'm about 2 years behind the craze, but I just love it! I think cos it's shiny and pretty and so girly... Anyway, I've done these two packs of glitter backgrounds:

You can click on the images above to go to the store :)

I have so many things in my idea book at the moment, I just don't seem to have the time to do them!! So, I've got a bit of a backlog happening... I think I'll get onto the Christmas kits in February the way I'm going - LOL!

Well, that pretty much wraps it up for this week :) Thanks for reading and I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend!

Zoe

I'm Back for an Update :)

Hello!

Yup, I've pretty much dropped off the face of the planet huh? LOL... having a baby is a lot more work than I thought it would be (how naiive was I??). So lately I've just been using the time I've got on the computer to design and that's pretty much it. Except if I'm procrastinating, which is what I'm doing now!

Wow, so Josh was only a couple of weeks old when I last posted! So much has happened in that time, it's gonna take a bit of catching up, so I apologise in advance for the mega long post if it turns out that way - LOL!

My sister got married on the 1st September over at Stradbroke Island, and it was just lovely. Travelling with Josh was not the nightmare I thought it would be, and the place we stayed at was just awesome! I kept saying to Marty the whole time that it would be nice if we were still just a couple cos it would have been a good romantic getaway type thingy. Except for the 4 week old baby... heehee! She made a gorgeous bride and the day went off without a hitch. They'd asked everyone to wear white to the wedding, and at first everyone couldn't see the point, but when we got to the beach and everyone was standing there in white, against the sand, sea and perfect blue sky, it looked so lovely! Because I was pregnant when they were planning the wedding it was a bit hard for me cos I'd always wanted to be her bridesmaid, but because they had the wedding when they did it was pretty much impossible. I was really sad about that, and it made me feel really bad that they knew I was pregnant when they chose the date. But, in the end they made me a part of the ceremony, and it was lovely, except for the fact that I only knew about it 5 minutes beforehand - LOL! So, I looked like such a third wheel standing there in my post-natal outfit, and them looking so glam... anyways it all turned out great, and they had a wonderful day, so all is good :) Here's some pics of the beautiful couple:

So, the weekend after the wedding Josh started to have some troubles. It all kinda started when I couldn't breastfeed. Not that I didn't want to, but he wouldn't latch on, I didn't get the support I needed, and I was a nervous wreck... we tried until he was around 4 weeks old, and I was expressing for him, but it just wasn't happening so he went to formula. I was upset, but the whole situation was just stressing everyone, including Josh, out so much it just wasn't worth it anymore.

Just after he went wholly to formula, he started to get a bit constipated, which is pretty common, and we did go into the hospital one night when it was particularly bad and they told us it would all clear itself up in good time, and not to worry too much. On the advice of a health nurse a couple of weeks later we switched to another formula, and it was great for a couple of days. He wasn't having any more troubles, and we thought it had all sorted itself out. Then one night, a week after the wedding, he started to poo pure blood. It was terrifying. You see, Marty had been giving me the day off and was looking after him, but he's colour-blind. So he hadn't noticed the blood - he just thought it was brown. Anyways, we raced him into the hospital and he had to be cannulated and put on a drip. It was the most awful feeling - they asked us to leave the room while they inserted the cannula, and I felt so helpless! It was all quiet and then he started screaming in the next room, and there was nothing I could do but cry and hope they weren't hurting him too bad...

Turns out he was allergic to the cow's milk protein in the formula, which apparently is very common and they usually outgrow it after 12 months. So they put him on a prescription formula, and initially it was a hassle because he hated it, but it seemed to be going fine... Then we went back to the specialist the following week for a check up and he'd started to lose weight. They said it could just be an adjustment phase, and they'd check him the following week. And for the next 2 weeks he lost weight :( It was awful, he lost 600g total, and they had no idea why. Each time he went in, they'd give him blood tests and on one occasion his neutrophils (?sp) had dropped dangerously low and we had to keep him "in quarantine" because his body wouldn't have been able to fight any bacteria it came into contact with.. OMG what an awful time that was. I've never been more frightened or my nerves so shot in all my life!

Thankfully, after about 6 weeks it all settled down and he finally started to gain weight - yippee!! Now he's healthy and a little chubber and so damn cute - I just love him to bits! The best bit is, he's been sleeping through the night since he was 6 weeks old, so that was a huge turning point for us as well. Makes life so much easier when you can have more than a couple of hours' sleep at a time! And, of course, now he's smiling and cooing and doing all that stuff that just makes my heart melt... Man, I've never been so fiercely in love with anything in my life! He's a good baby too - only really cries when he's hungry. Although, I think his teeth are starting to move around cos he's getting a bit grizzly, but I can't complain cos he's been so great until now!

Here's some more recent pics that I think are the cutest... please excuse me and my tuckshop lady chins/arms/body, but I've let myself go - LOL! I guess there's plenty of time to get my figure back :) Not that I had that great a one to start with... ah well :) And the quality of a few of them isn't the best because I was just holding the camera and blind-shooting, but the expression on his face is just priceless and they're some of my faves...

Isn't he a cutie?? Yeah, I'm biassed, but I could just eat him up... love him so much!

And then, some more sad news... My wonderful sweet Nana passed away on the 19th October... I've actually handled it a lot better than I thought I ever would. Nana dying was always one of my biggest fears and I always thought I'd fall apart when it happened, but for some reason I'm okay. I think it probably happened at a time in my life when I can accept it. I really feel like she's at peace, and it makes me feel good for her. I have my moments, and I don't know if I'm just putting off the inevitable by keeping myself busy, but so far so good. I loved her with all my heart, and I know that she knew that. I'm just thankful for the 26 years I had her in my life. She was a wonderful, strong and loving woman who did everything for us, and I will always remember that... I don't think I can go into it any more because no amount of words I can say will sum up how I felt for her :)

So, that pretty much brings me up to date. I had a few new products in the store over the last few weeks, including a kit dedicated to my lovely Nana...

some buttons:

and some alphas:

Yay!! Blog post done! :) Whew... I'll try to do it more regularly so I don't have to chew your ear off so much next time - LOL!

Thanks for reading, and I hope you are all well :)

Zoe

Finally!!

I know I have been MIA forever, but I have a good excuse...
HE'S HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Finally *LOL*)
My little man, Joshua Martin Pearn, arrived a week early on Wednesday 1st August 07 at 10:58 am... He weighed 7 lb 7 oz, and is just the cutest, sweetest, handsomest (is that a word??) little guy in the world. But I'm biassed of course!! Here's a couple of snaps:







I so wasn't prepared to be going into labour when I did! Because he was posterior in the last weeks of my pregnancy, every midwife I saw said that there was no way he'd come on his own, and it was most likely that I'd have to be induced... So, I was originally booked for an induction on the 17th August, and I thought I had heaps more time being a lady of leisure *LOL* But I woke up at around 4:15 am on the morning on the 1st August just feeling like I had to go to the bathroom really bad, but nothing would happen. Then it clicked that these pains were coming every 5 minutes and were getting worse... It took me forever to work up the courage to wake Marty up at that time of the morning, especially because I was convinced it was a false alarm.

I stayed at home until around 7am thinking that I'd have HOURS to kill, and I rang Mum and told her I was off to the hospital, but not to get here hopes up because I was sure it was either a false alarm or that I'd have hours and hours to go, and they'd send me home!

So, off we go to the hospital in peak hour traffic... Me with a severe case of Tourette's Syndrome on the way there *LOL*, and Marty trying to keep calm for both of us. It was so funny now that I look back on it - I was petrified all the way there that I'd have a contraction as we were pulled up next to a bus stop or something, and I'd be going off my tree like a lunatic, and everyone would think I was mad!

We got to the hospital around 8am and wen't straight to the labour ward, where they had to examine me first, and I was still convinced it was a false alarm... I said to the lady "How can I tell if I'm really in labour?", and she was like "Honey, you're in labour"... I was freaking out so bad! So not even 4 hours after contractions started, I was 6cm dilated!! I kept saying to them "I'm not ready!" I think I went into denial at that point *LOL*

Straight off to the birth suite I go and I had the most awful midwife! Man, she was nasty! I was begging for drugs by that point and she'd only give me gas (which does bugger all) until I told her (very firmly) to get me some f**ing pain relief, and I got some morphine (which also didn't do too much!). Anyways, I said to her, "how long will this take?" and she told me that it'd most likely be another 6 hours or so at least... and continued to ignore me because she had to "write up her notes". It was so funny, every time she'd leave the room, I'd flip her the bird - I hated her!

About an hour later I had this really bad feeling that I wanted to push, so I told the midwife. She's like, "you just push love - it won't be a real one, you're only 6 cm dilated". So I go, "no, I am about to SPLIT IN HALF!" Her: "But I have to write up my notes, we'll give you an internal in another hour or so". Me: "NO! SOMETHING"S HAPPENING HERE". Her: "Okay, (cranky and snippy) I'll give you an internal examination now then". Me: "Thank You".

So, lucky she allowed me to have an internal exam then, because baby was about 1 cm away from crowning! Her: "Oh, baby nearly here!" Me (under my breath) "No shit Sherlock". Who's the midwife here? Man, I swear I wanted to rip her eyes out!

So then it was a mad panic to get me pushing properly, and by that stage the Morphine had only just kicked in, so I was in lala land and didn't want to push anymore - actually it was more that I was freaking out about having to push a baby out - like when you know something really bad is going to happen and you put it off as long as you can... But once he crowned, all the pain went away and I had this little baby in my arms (who was about as high as his mother at that stage because of the Morphine). You know, I didn't believe all the people who say that you forget the pain, but you really and truly do - it was amazing! And for all you girls out there who've heard horror stories about labour, don't listen. It really isn't that terrible - I was actually disappointed because I thought I'd get to yell and scream at the bitchy midwife, but I was saving it until the pain got really bad, but it never got that bad.. Should've went off at her anyway! Damn...

We were in hospital for 2 nights, and came home late on the Friday night... It was funny, I was so desperate to get out of hospital, and as soon as I got home I wanted to go straight back there! I was absolutely petrified of being responsible for this little guy!

The first week and a half was pretty bad - I was an emotional wreck, Marty lost his job not even a week after we had Josh, I haven't officially lost my job, but in not so many words they told me that they won't be renewing my contract past my maternity leave, and I was having so many problems breast feeding. It was really scary - I thought it was always going to be like that, but luckily Marty got a new job earlier this week - we were so lucky! Since then, I've just been relieved, and thanking my lucky stars that we're okay again...

Anyways, the little dude is crying for his dinner, so I'd better go - sorry it's such a saga! Lots to catch up on... Hopefully all of you are well and happy! Thanks for reading, and hopefully I'll get some spare time soon to do another update!

Zoe

I suck...

... at blogging! Okay I'll admit it, although anyone who's been reading my blog for a while won't be surprised - LOL! I'm one of those people who likes to save up all my news and have long conversations instead of regular instalments, so maybe I'm the same with my blog...

Well, if I could describe the last six weeks in one word it would be atrocious. If I could add one more, it would be crazy... I feel like there's so much to do in so little time, and it's all just flying by in one big fat blur. Then to top it off, all these lovely little things keep popping up to make it that little bit more annoying, and there you go!

So, I'll start where I left off. The last Friday in May was looking to be a great day. I had the day off, my Mum was coming for dinner, and I was really looking forward to having a nice night with her, catching up, etc. So just after I put the food in the oven, she calls and she can't make it. Fine. Whatever... I'm a bit cranky, but I'll live. Long story short, we have a massive fight, she comes over, we make up, all is good and dandy! So, she's just about to leave at around 11:00 that night, and we get a phone call from the hospital where my Nana was admitted earlier in the week. They say Mum needs to go to the hospital now - Nana's having trouble breathing, and they don't think she'll make the night...

Mum takes off. I'm in shock. So, the decision - do I go to the hospital and possibly face seeing my Nana, who I am terrified of losing, die? I swore to myself years ago after my brother died, that I would never ever see another dead body in all my life, no matter who they were. But then, would it give Nana comfort to see the people she loved in her last moments? Then I have to ring my sister to share the great news with her - fair enough if I don't want to go, but it's not fair for me to make that choice for her. So, we end up deciding to go to the hospital and I pick her up and we prepare ourselves for the worst...

Nana was in a bad way when we got there, but thankfully she was stabilised at that point, on a breathing machine, really tired, but doing okay. It was such a relief, but at the same time I was pissed off at myself because I see people in that condition every day as part of my job, and it doesn't phase me... maybe I'm just a heartless bitch. I think I have a switch on my emotions that I flick most of the time... I don't know.

So it turned out that Nana had had a heart attack, and she was doing great again the next day, so all is good there. She's now out of hospital and back to her old self, so that's all good news!

So on the Sunday of the same weekend, I wake up feeling like absolute crap. And it doesn't get any better either as the day goes on. Turns out I had a chest infection - great!! So, I have to miss work for a couple of days, and my popularity at work drops a few more notches (as if that was possible). I worked from home for the rest of the week while I got better, so that was good, but I was going out of my brain with boredom by the end of it!

Then, the following weekend, it's a long weekend, so I was really looking forward to spending a nice, relaxing weekend with Marty, just hanging out, maybe see a movie or something... Nope! Not to be - LOL! On the Saturday, Marty was stomping around the house, goofing around (he was paying out on me, so what happens next is a bit of karma coming back to bite him in the arse - LOL). Marty has a bad knee. Goofing around and a bad knee that are well overdue for a reconstruction do not make a good combination. Next thing I know, his knee has dislocated while he's stomping past me in the kitchen... And I copped 80kg at full force straight to the baby belly. At this point I don't have much sympathy for Marty - kind of reminds me of when I first started posting in forums and I thought that DH stood for "Dick Head".

So, we got to spend all day Saturday at the hospital. I dropped him off at the Emergency Department so he could get something done to his knee, while I sat in the Maternity Department being monitored to make sure the baby was okay! And the best thing about the whole situation was that the nurses all thought I was a domestic violence victim or something!! I may as well have told them I fell down the stairs... gees!!

Everything was good with bub, but Marty's knee was still jiggered, so on the Sunday we spent most of the day trying to find a physiotherapist that was open who'd pop it back in for him. And paid $150 for the pleasure - yay! :)

The next couple of weeks went by nice and smoothly - had a couple of baby showers - one of them the girls at work threw for Emma & I, which was so lovely of them! It was really nice to have that in the midst of all this other crap going on... They put on a lovely day for us, beautiful food, and we both got a hamper with heaps of baby stuff in it - yay!! We were spoilt!

Nothing too eventful the following week, apart from another couple of run ins with the boss at work. Nothing unusual there! Thank goodness there's only a couple of weeks to go there - not that I'm counting of course!

So this pretty much brings us up to the beginning of last week, which turned out to be flipping fantastic as well - yeah right! On Wednesday, we had accreditation (where they licence your medical facility), so it was all pretty hectic and stressful. So I choose that day to spill not one, but TWO boiling cups of coffee all over my chest and tummy. Ouch! Luckily I work with good nurses, so they all got me under control with cold compresses and stuff, but it hurt like hell! So I had to leave early again... down a few more notches in the popularity stakes - yay!!

So, then last night to top it all off (you thought that'd be it, didn't you), I slipped while I was getting out of the shower, and did the splits to stop myself from falling. Not a good move when you're 34 weeks pregnant. It feels like I've broken my pubic bone - I swear! And the fact that bub's dropped and is sitting right there makes for a really nice feeling! So, now I can barely walk, I'm tired, I'm cranky (if you can't tell from my tone - LOL), and I JUST WANT TO STOP HURTING MYSELF!!!!! Do you think I should maybe wrap myself up in cotton wool for the next six weeks to make sure I don't fall off a cliff or something?

I swear, if I didn't laugh about it all, I'd cry! Well, I've been doing a bit of that too, but hey, I can blame it all on hormones - heehee!! So that brings you up to date on my very messy and frustrating life... If I don't write again in the next few weeks, be concerned - I might have chopped my arms off or something, you never know! :D

Whoa! How long was that?!? Sorry if I sound pessimistic, but I feel pretty pessimistic at the moment, so I can't help it... All of this, on top of the usual terrified feelings I'm sure all new Mums get at this late stage of pregnancy, just gets a little bit overwhelming so... I'll try and be a bit more upbeat next time - LOL! I'd delete the post, but it's taken me half an hour, and I can't bring myself to waste it!

Anyways, I'm gonna leave it at that for now... I hope you are all having a great day, not injuring yourself constantly, and are not as hormonal as yours truly :D

Seeya!

Zoe